Regarding the writer...
I finally mustered the courage to begin my blog and it took me approximately 27 minutes to get into my computer (which hasn’t been flipped open or turned on in months) because I couldn’t manage to remember the damn password. It was one wrong capital letter. So is the story of my life. Easy tasks made difficult when the answer is oh so simple. Welcome.
An introduction bio seems so narcissistic and LOOK AT ME and maybe that’s the point to some degree. It makes me uncomfortable. I mean WHO THE FUCK AM I right? But for relatable purposes I’ll disclose some of the imperative facts. I am a woman who is a walking contradiction. Hear me roar, but only from behind this soundproof glass. Love me, but not like that. Find me intriguing and strange, but pretty too. I don’t care if you like me, but really…do you like me? I like my solidarity, but I crave human connection. It’s quite exhausting. To be me.
Stats on paper have me pegged as not young, but not quite middle aged early 30s single mother. Yes it is true I am 3(1), and it is true I am single (not married), and it is true that I’m a mother. But I’m more than my age and I have meaningful relationships and my child’s father is highly involved and mother is just one of my many roles. (Although it is one of the most important.) I have a career that I like a lot and a little life that I’m humbly proud of, because I never thought I’d have much of a life at all. I live in a little town close to what people call a city, but is lacking in every sense of the word, yet I still feel a sense of birth-town pride. You may have heard of it; Flint. I have the things I need for the most part and although a little more wouldn’t hurt, I’d end up saying that even if I had more because I’m insatiable like that.
I’ve struggled with depression, eating disorders, and substance abuse and they are my demons that I struggle with still, though not as much as in the past. I have come a long way in that sense. Some days I feel like a goddess and other days I wish she’d strike me down. I’m an eclectic solitary witch and always trying to grow spiritually. Some days I feel like a fraud. But I try to stay true to what I feel and I have learned to accept the dark and the light within myself and others. I have ghosts that haunt me and the future is scary, but every day I journey on and try to make the most of this short life we have as fearlessly as I can.
I write poetry and prose and I’d love to actually follow through on some short stories. One of my goals is to publish a book of poetry this year. I haven't shared my art with many people and I hesitate because of fear. Of so many things. But here I am, as long as it took to begin, it began so long ago. I’ll share about now, I’ll share about my past, and the hopes and dreams and fears I have as well. I’m not a savior and I’m not a devil, I’m just a human on this earth trying to make sense of it all. Take my hand. Let’s not be afraid to walk together.