New Decade;New Year;New You;Doing the things you should be doing better because the calendar says so

2020; a new year, a new decade. So many things to celebrate, so many things to forget. But more importantly so many things to manifest.

2019 began with me at a salon I had been at a long time and not happily, living with my parents because of my career change and struggling through trying to find a slice of independence and stability. I now end the year in my own house, due greatly to a career change that started 3 years ago (from nail tech to hair stylist) and moving to a beautiful salon downtown Flint. I thought with having a nice Jeep and a house I would feel more strong and free. But honestly lately I’ve just been feeling a lot of pressure and loneliness. But I know what I really need is just to refocus my energy; I’ve been pulled and fragmented lately and it’s time to come together again.

I’m grateful for what I have, but I’m sick of the struggle; living check to check, never able to save up. The holidays make it worse and now I’m behind. But my son had to have a Christmas.

But I’ve come so far and I should really give myself credit. Back in 2010 I was living in California having a crazy wreckless time with a guy I met here. I was partying and drinking and not taking anything seriously, most of all myself. I came back and was sure I wasn’t going to stay in MI, but then I met a bartender at The Machine Shop and fell in love I guess. Those were crazy times. I was out of control. Our relationship was extremely unhealthy. I got a dui and I crashed my car more times than I like to admit and I don’t remember half of those nights from being black out drunk. I lived for the escape. I was living to die. Then I got pregnant. Everything became about the baby; my little saving grace, my little reason to be here, my purpose. I had a family for a couple years, but I was still so lost; I didn’t know who I was. I took it out on my partner, on my friends and family, and most of all myself. I wasn’t happy with my relationship, my career, my lifestyle, or myself. When Brewer was about 18 months I became pregnant again, but I lost the baby 7 weeks into the pregnancy. This was my motivating force to change my life. I made the decision to go back to Cosmetology school for hair, and move on from nails. My boyfriend was not supportive at all but I knew this was something I had to do. It strained our already strained relationship. There was a growing force inside me and it grew and grew until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I had to be on my own. So I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I left my sons dad and the house I birthed him in. Also the house I had a miscarriage in. But it was almost like it was out of my control and I left and moved in with my parents. I was devastated for weeks, crying, not eating, and questioning everything. But I made it through school with honors and began my new career journey. I wanted to live in metro Detroit so bad but quickly learned that wouldn’t be possible. So I went back to the salon I was at before, but it was not a good environment for me. I was losing inspiration and money. I felt like I had no other option so I stayed there until a former coworker told me of a salon he was opening. I was also looking into renting a house from my uncle at the same time. I took a chance and in the spring of 2019 I took both moves. Everything at the new salon was more than I dreamed and close to home and my business thrived. I loved my home but a short four months later I was told he was selling the house and I needed to move by winter. I quickly found another place to rent and moved within a month. Finally able to feel settled. Finally, at the age of 31 I have my own home, a reliable car, and a great career. I am able to take care of my son and myself and that’s all I can ask for. This next decade I wish to build on what I have and grow it into something bigger and more fruitful. I wish to cultivate my creative side and write and blog more as well as paint and create. I want to grow my career and maintain higher volume clients. I want to have money to pay all my bills and have some for fun stuff like motorcycles and vacations with my son. I want to spend a lot of time out side. I want to really come into who I am this year. If I’m meant to be alone or with someone time will tell but I hope I’m content with either. No more self-sabotaging no more running and escaping. Just living life to the fullest and always giving 110% to everything.

A decade run through:

2010 Moved to California with Chris 2011 Moved back to MI Met a guy Got an apartment 2012 Dusty ‘moved in’ Lots of partying 2013 Got pregnant with Bobo Moved into house in Flushing 2014 Became a mom/gave birth to Brewer 2015 Momming Trying to make sense of myself and my relationship Miscarriage 2016 Decide to go to Cos school for hair The beginning of my ‘find myself’ journey 2017 Left Brewers dad Moved in with parents Graduated from Paul Mitchell/started work as stylist 2018 Met a guy Lots of outdoor adventures First motorcycle 2019 Single (lots of bad dates) Bad accident but new Jeep Moved into my own house (with Bobo) Switched salons (downtown Flint) Got a kitten 2020 Started a blog When I look back upon the years I can see all the small moves that equaled this big one. Creating my blog and keeping up with it all while being a successful hair stylist and providing for my family are my main endeavors. The rest I know will work itself out. All of our paths should be respected and each should be rewarded for its loyalty.